SNSD EXPERIENCE!

The concert was AWE-SUPERINCREDIBLE-SOME! A total dream come true! All of them were so pretty in LIVE! But actually, some members complexion are not that 'fresh', as in there is life in the body itself, they look damn tired. Seriously! But their features are super nice! OMG! Their outfits alone can already make my heart race lo! Sexy Girls!!! And HyoYeon's Dance outfit is = W-O-W!!!!!

My legs turned jelly when Yoona smiled at us. Seriously GODDESS, and also I saw her trying to hold in a sneeze when she turned towards us. Aiyo~Hopefully she did not catch a cold~Singapore's weather is really unstable in the winter months.

All of they girls managed to visit our side of the moshpit at least once. Too bad Seohyun was 'assigned' to PEN B, so didn't got to see her much. But luckily got Yoona, Fany, a bit of Sica, Tae, Sunny is more than enough for the group around me to handle. Sibei LOL 'cos we need to keep checking who is coming our way when the ladies turned their backs to us.

Seriously regretted not doing something like Saranghae sign with my guys to catch thier attention like Timothy and his friend..WALAO so damn jealous they got BOTH Sunny's and HyoYeon's attention and they returned the sign to THEM!!! OMG!!! >.<!!! AND HyoYeon IS DAMN FRIENDLY!!! She threw back the Soshified Foam to PEN C when someone threw it onstage..Sad that my only special sign is to lightsticks together to make one extra long one, and I could shake fast and form a lightstick circle.

Their vocals tonight were not that power, maybe its due to the sones cheering, or the audio bass to powerful..can't really hear much of their singing, but rather watch more of their LIVE dancing and solo performances. Their solos were not that spectacular..execpt for Sooyong, Sunny, HyoYeon, Yoona, Jessica, cos got good 'props' ...aiya~the not so good,..cos not sure what they were singing about...were Seohyun, Yuri, as well as Taeyeon-but their voices are nice so ok.~

Bad Stuffs was that FanCams were not allowed for moshpits, but not sure about terrace, and since a hell lot of them terrace were taking pics and video-ing. There was a guy kena pulled out from our pen lo...don't know where he went with the security. Luckily and also, too bad, I didn't managed to snap any picture with my Ipod touch---the quality will not be that good anyway. People left and right were taking pictures discreetly... SAD~~ Also didn't brought any stuff for SNSD. A few fans threw items like stuffed bear and etc, and one kuku Thailand fan threw a damn ugly green tee at Seohyun's face on stage and she was shocked. Luckily it DID NOT hit her face, else I think everyone will 'boo'~. Fans, please don't do this as it is dangerous and could distract them from their walking path. The stage is small only for a about 3 members, so its really quite small.

Brought only a paper fan with Seohyun imprinted on it and the handle broke when I used it too hard..Damn bloody cheapskate..CHEATED me of my money...$5!!! omg...I could have just printed out my very own picture of Seohyun and custom made the paper fan lo.

Overall, it was a priceless performance! It's a night I won't forget! Woohoo~ XD And I'm So GONNA BUY THE ALBUM IF IT EVER COMES OUT....which I think maybe 5 years later? loll..=(

TIRED

yeap...2am sleep and 615am wake...walao...summore is driving and studying and wss and wushu...TTM~~~~~god..its friday! gimme a break yaw?

SNSD!

NEW UPDATE!!!

I GOT THE TICKET TRADE TO PEN C 2ND NIGHT....shame...i wanna get pen B to stand with nick or jun hao...more enjoyable with friends....hais...

got it at low black market pricing to thank the guy...260-221=39...LOL 39 for transport fee, queuing up/booking online, and to cover a bit of his loss for his pen c at 320...heheheh XD

PS:I'm self-learning korean language...anyone interested can join me, haha. Next language-German!

Emo

Yeap, long time no blog. Busy with school, cca, wss again. And IVP is just over last week saturday, which coincide with the day that the 1st night of SNSD's concert..Too bad my 'ticket buyer' did not managed to buy one entry for me, and I injured on my thigh due to a wrong landing as well as split pose. Hamstring overstretched, takes about at least 1 month to recover. I still remember the time I tear my right hamstring a tiny weeny bit...now I can't split on my right leg...Sad.

And worst thing was that I found out that the 2nd night of the concert's ticket sales is today! 2nd of November, Wednesday! But I didn't booked it, 'cos I don't have OCBC nor Samsung..as well as I thought my 'ticket buyer' had brought enough for everyone to go together. Now there is only a few tickets, but a lot more people chasing after it...including me.

Enough of that!

I was going to ask/think/discuss about why some emotional people need to mutilate themselves when they are feeling down, such as: heartbreak, sadness, failures, all the negative emotions. and they cut themselves, or somehow treat their body in certain ways which is damaging to it.

I think they do not fully understand that the worse part of life is not living like you are in Hell, just an expression of getting the bitter end of life; but rather leaving the experiences and memories they've gained while living through. Memories are things like your parents, friends, BFF, BGRs; experiences are the lessons you've learned while going through this journey. Isn't it a waste to end everything early just because you are tired? I mean, there is always some good stuffs in bad situations; and bad stuffs in good situations. Newton's Law of opposing force can be applied here. Taoism can also be applied here.

So many thus turned to religion like Christianity in the hope to get a better lot in life. But to me, I think its pretty useless because I never truely belive in God and Buddha, even though I'm a Buddhist- "Man is a master of his own life...not God."This is the very quote that changed a lot of my thinking. As well as Christopher Paolini's Eldest spoke about religion. I thus belive in Science, but yet for the unexplainable-like ghosts, buddhas, gods, etc, I just pretend that they are real to make explantions/ assumptions easier. My Dad was the one that helped me to build a strong heart/emotional shield. Of course some credit also have to go my classmates in my secondary school. What they did was unforgettable..mind you, it is highly negative and only recommened for people who have strong hearts. I didn't get to fully enjoyed my secondary school days. Regret that.


"Success is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail."

Not Again...

Been watching WGM Sweet Potato this holiday. LOL~now I seriously regret watching it, cos gonna be saddened by the couple's departure from the show. Well, holiday not so interesting-training training training. Oh, and getting the driving license...boring holiday...

Here Comes Hell...

Yeaps, trainings from hell...WSS, PDL, IVP...shiok sia.

Sundays-At Grandma's house, wushu at Tampiness.

Mondays-At Grandma's house, WSS in the day, wushu at night.

Tuesday-Back Home after Monday wushu, PDL in the day, wushu at night, car lobang to Toa Payoh to go Grandma's house.

Wednesdays-At Grandma's house, WSS in the day, wushu at night, back Home.

Thursdays- Home, PDL in the day till night. maybe go Grandma's house

Fridays-Home or Grandma's house, WSS in the day, wushu at night, Home or Grandma's house.

Saturdays-Home or Grandma's house. If home, PDL then Ubi. Else Ubi. Grandma's house.

Shiok huh? One thing I hate the most- travelling. It waste time and energy to stay awake and focus. So that's my timetable for this whole of so-called holiday.

At least I got myself a bottle of rum to enjoy the end of my Year 2 Sem. 1, can't wait to try it out. Wonder how it taste like. HAHA, Dad might kill me if I drank alcohol behind his back. =P. Whatever.
As usual this week, Dloading games to collect and keep. Spent $50 on a useless game- Wasted! Hais! Should have watch the gameplay before buying it. But anyway, I'm gotta enjoy it man. Cool enough, I'm not a gamer anyway, I'm just a collector.
So sian that my ankle haven't recover yet. I seriously wonder what is wrong with it. I think I should consult some other osteopath. But I'm not sure where else. Too bad for tomorrow. Sad, I guess coach will be disappointed in me again. How I wish that stupid gap never exist and my landing is not perfect so that my toe didn't get into it, and allowed me to trip and sprain...HAIS!!!!

So wanted to get gold...Never had it before...=( Guess I'm not that cut out for competitions. Stay focus on healing and my future is more important...

Dinnertime! and sleep!

Nights, readers...

SUNDAYS

Guess I can't really help it...that is my habit to sleep in on Sundays, even though I tried to for 2 months. Still feel restless and tired out everytime, can't makes me do anything right after the training. Re-read a favorite senior's Facebook I met during a camp...

She's really cute that time I saw her, and very beautiful-like the perfect lady every guy could ever hope for. But she's older than me by what...I was sec 3, shes was JC year 1/2, so I guess about 2-3 years apart? Seriously, that crush I had on her may not fade forever. Still makes me reminsce whenever I saw her photo. Now she is attached to another guy, probably met during one of the University camps or class since both are from the same school. I could never forget the friendship, and the feeling she gave to me. Even if that feeling last for an instance, I felt appreciated, like she's my whole world and I could/would do any/everything for her. Now? We rarely talk...I guessed she even forgot who I am, and how she met me..I don't think I could ever forgot her. She's Number 3, the third crush, and the most with feelings(emotions) inside.

Can't really remember what happened during the camp. I only remembered her borrowing my shoulder to nap, while I put my arm over her to hold her properly upright, supporting her neck while she slept. And the surrounding was playing music and everyone was singing some songs, we were surrounded in the hall by campmates, but I felt like we were alone. Then I think another female facilitator got jealous and also wanted my attention, she leaned onto my left shoulder too. That woke both of us up. LOL. Still remembered the sudden awkward moment. HAHA! XD

Then, I had to leave early, I was attending some Elective Modules in SP and had to go off slightly earlier at the last moment. Gave her my parting gift...I wondered whether she liked it or not, wondered whether she truely understood the reason for and the meaning of the gift. But it's all over now..

So far, I had made a few BEST friends.. let's count them...

1. Lawrence
2. Rui Nah
3. Afiq
4. Jia Yi
5. Lu Jian Rong
6. Kia Shiang
7. Doyz (the last few people on the list)
8. Ding Jie (the last few people on the list)
9. Gui Ping (the last few people on the list)
10. Hun Ning (the last few people on the list)

The last few are one-sided...I wonder they still remember me that I am always here for them? Guess not.. There are a few more, but the would fall in the range of near besties...people like

1. Timothy
2. Jasmine
3. Jun Hao
4. Jonathan
5. Bryan
6. Yun Quan
7. Dato
8. Nicklaus
9. Martin
10. Donovan
11. etc, etc.

Lots more...Most are from wushu, of 'cos not forgetting the other sides- Kenny, Calista, Yit Yong, Jing Sen, Justin, Renfred..Wish I could find all my SV classmates again-a get together, see how the girls have grown more pretty, the boys more mature, how life had changed us...

ENOUGH!!! SLEEP NOW-TOMORROW NEED STUDY FOR AEROSCIENCE!!! ARGH!!!

Year 2 SA1

Finially its the semestral exams...and she's leaving the school in 3 more days....It seem only yesterday that we both sat down to eat mac together...But its over now...Now, I just look forward to reading her stories everyweek. Kinda like chasing an anime show. Lol.


Tomorrow is my maths paper. No mood nor pressure to push me to start studying. Damn the exam timetable...so spread apart.=.=". National Day is already over, I miss the times. Gonna have it next year for sure.

Holidays! I'm so looking forward to it. Finally can complete my Practical lessons and hopefully the test. Then I'm gonna start driving! YAY!!!

This year IVP seems not so important now. Still I wish to take part in Ji Ti catergory. I wonder I can make it? I don't really like soloing...So tiring sometimes...Hope that I be able to come back after NS and try work out a perfect Ji Ti and beat the other schools. HehHeh.

Hais, I plan to work next semester...I wonder I should or not? Living at grandma's, means that I only get to talk with my Dad on weekends, and its less proable now that I wanna work. Seems like I need a lot rest = Pig...XP

Alrights! Gonna change and have dinner. Then, off to CCA!!! =)


p.s. today training is at netball court, uh-oh, hope my knee is not gonna break....X_X

Fuck My Life

So damn unlucky today...sprained the other foot, my left and now both leg weird weird...wonder whether can make it for tmr rehearsal and saturday performance...

Stupid sis threw her "thing" into my laundry without me knowing...Until I found out, it was too late. Still got to pick it out by my hand somemore=jinxed. Didn't managed to complete my machine for WSS. Got scolding by my Dad and sis 'cos I didn't wake her up this morning and caused her to be late for school. As if its my fault! 16 years old already still don't know how to wake up on time. WTF?! HEY ITS YOUR FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY TO WAKE UP, NOT MINE!

hais...If I am really to move, I guess I could go my grandma house...and find work at sheng shiong. At least I am able to earn some extra pocket money for my data plan and save up for all the presents I'm gonna buy for my "her" (of 'cos if she appears)....And I'm more closer to school, easier for transport wise. I hate wasting time travelling..I guessed that once I get my licencse, I'm gonna go Grandma house to stay, and hopefully...things will be okay at home...I hate to abandon my Dad at this point of time.. But my sister REALLY CANNOT grow up and out of her shitting mind..._|_

I tired of it all...really...escape to survive...an animalistic instinct...
I AM FUCKING TIRED OF THIS SHIT. CAN I REMOVE IT FROM MY PRESENCE? IF NOT, I MOVE, THE SHIT CAN REMAIN THERE.

Open Sesame!

Yeap, its the annual Ghost Festival Month. Not surprised that many of my China friends do not know about this month. They got 'brainwashed' by circumstances. Went to burn the papers $ for brothers at Dad's company yesterday. Got a cut near-above right elbow. Blood stop flowing damn fast= high metabolism, I'm healthy! =) Not very enjoyable..didn't manage to bring up my wish for data plan to Dad. Seems like he knew what I am trying to point the conversation to, so he was adamant in his 'explaination', all in an effort to dissuade me from getting data plan. Boring lecture...

Its 1st August now, and this post is not an early morning post. Didn't sleep at all night-was playing Dissidia 012, trying to complete the story; understand what Final Fantasy is all about. Great Game, you guys, if you are reading, should try it- its a psp game.

Regrading my previous post, too bad. I didn't get to see the "glancing lady" again. Probably did, but forgot her face anyway-not that pretty and I sensed that she is not that all interesting, yet, maybe. But I found out about the "Design girl". THAT was great fun- I was trying to find her classroom, and she just walked right past me. Totally stunned and flabbergasted. LOL. I managed to find out what course she is in-Visual Design Communication. And I got to catch up with a primary school friend while looking out for her presence. One word to describe the feeling - F.U.N!

"Wow!" to my primary school friend. He's now taller than me, by a head=.=". Sad, miss the feeling when I was taller than him during P6. Haha. Anyways, he went to Normal Academic stream, so now he's first year in NYP. Guess that's fated huh? Never reckon we meet again, and in such weird situation! XD

NDP Rehearsals are over now. Left August 9 for the real deal. Hmm! I need a camera! I want to take a picture with that orange-jacket-shirt girl. That fashion is REAL COOL. Of course the girl is also pretty, and her dancing moves are hot, man...Lol I feel so retarded doing the Mass dance movements, wearing the black costume while she's one grid beside showing off. Haha, I'm jealous! Anyway, main point is I don't want this event to end that soon, 'cos I had a lot of fun with Monfort people, Timo's gang, and best are NYP Wushu Brothers!!! Haha...oops I didn't include the girls, 'cos, well...They weren't much off a fun...no laughter over there, one busy with work, the other playing her iphone, and the last always come in late-'cos she was helping out with classes elsewhere. Guess you readers might know who they are already, maybe except for the first one. Hmm.

Exam is in 2 weeks time. Haven't really prepared much. Failed Quality Process Management Common Test- damn sure of that..Getting a low GPA this semester again..Sigh~ Need to buck up for the rest!!! Can't afford to get any more 'C's or 'D's!!!

I wonder if I could truly realised my dream of becoming a researcher, of course in any field- I love them all; too interesting for words to explain. Gotta study like mad=P.h.D...and I probably wouldn't get a wife...who would marry to a eccentric weirdo? I guess I have to take one step at a time. Then get out of this crazy-moneyed country, and somewhere free and quiet enough for me to conduct my researches.
Else I gonna be the typical Singaporean male. Get a job, nice car, club, pub, fool around, until I'm 30 plus, then my parents nag for me to settle down. Then I hit mid-life crisis...and fail? Sigh....I don't know...

I just read her post yesterday, re-reading it now...and sadly, I feel so powerless and useless-unable to help, yet caused more trouble..Sigh...Probably shouldn't have taken her as one of the subjects in my research then..but again, it'll be a pity, which is now...=/...Off to pack bag...FB and school...

‎3 interesting arrows...

Alright!!!

July 20-1204am:Salmon! Kitty! Stamina! Damn the ankle!!!

Jaslyn asked what is the meaning of Salmon..Dish or Fish?
Kitty...I forgot what it is..I think its the one I saw on the way home..cute kitten in black.
Stamina dropped..bad sign...
Ankle pain..do I need to explain more?

July 20-1130pm: Big Spider gone from under the bridge. Cheese Baked Rice Fish Fillet at Xin Wang alone and a nice cuppa of Ice Yuan Yang. Jialat timing for WSS, I don't know how I am going to pass week 16 assessment. Woke up late today. Ankle pain, again. Shin also pain, don't know why.

Now is something interesting: A lady in pink designed T-shirt kept looking in my direction today at south canteen, probably 'cos I'm laughing hard at Lu. And I kept glancing back at her. Lu told me to say 'Hi'. Sad no courage. Meant to give a small wave to see her reaction. In the end didn't. Found out she is from SDM or SIDM...Hope to see her again, i fate really permits, I will see you same time same place next week. And this time, I shall say, "Hi." =)

Saw a cool and simple girl in cute pink shoes on the same day. Beautiful brown-red hair. And her lips was, too inviting..haha. Her aura was quite interesting too, dark rainbow. Orange tag too..At least I can see her now. =) Hope to know more.

July 21-0137am:Cold wind blows~ by Coach. Haha nice interesting stories about army. 'Where got ghost?' discussion by my friends during lunchtime. Laughed like crazy. Cough Cough...too much laughter today.

July 21-1036pm: My shins hurts again..went to watch Harry Potter Seven P2 with my classmates! Great movie! Like finally, its been so long~Dissidia is right now so addicting that I can't seem to put the psp down, haha! Aerosciences! homework piled up, didn't hand in a shit...die. Aerosctructure Report forgot do and forgot my Group members...Argh~

I wonder why you won't block me...I don't get it...You made me so ashamed of my actions; you won't spare me, yet you still injure me...nice way of punishment...

and....I GOT HOLES AT MY FEET'S SKIN! O.O a illness named 'pitted keratolysis'

Haven't felt so high in a long time(on saturday)......Why now? Maybe 'cos you are somewhat happy to see your relatives...channeled some of the energy to me...LOL...

Shivering right now...I wonder why...Met many interesting girls this week! Hope to really go out with one of them! =)

Library

Yeap I'm still in school library, reading a interesting life story. Can't seem to concentrate on school work anyway. This time is training time, so can't really focus on work now, might as well slack.


Regarding your latest entry:
"all you need is a 'pick-me-up'"~Hagrid(Harry Potter)

...that's what you need exactly =)

If you had read your own life, you could see the ups and down; the way life treats you, and how you pick yourself up and move on. I just did, and was touched by your bravery towards life.

Honestly I still remember the some of the questions you asked me. I hope I got them right. Here's some of the answers I got while reading, to one of the question I think is important:

It is because of your attitude, I like you.
It is because of your bravery, I like you.
It is because of your maturity, I like you.
It is because of your simplicity, I like you.
It is because of your honest efforts, I like you.
It is because of your straightforwardness, I like you. 
It is because of your logical thinking, I like you.
It is because of your emotions, that made you so human, I like you.
And of course, I like who you are.

Truth to be told, when I first saw everyone in the wushu team, I saw you, everyone 'colours'. I seriously CANNOT  explain why or how or what it is. Just think that I can see auras of people, to make matter easier to explain. I saw yours, the brightest in the badminton hall, and JY's, GX's, GY's,
bright as the sun. At first, it made me wondered why the place is so 'warm' and welcoming. Lol. Unbelieving, yeah, I know. I don't know why Heaven or my parents gave me such gifts. The ability to sense things is really awful sometimes. It made my world dark and black. Nothingness. No emotions-nothing. Probably that's why I always feel alone, even though surrounded my friends. Your colour was of the sun-orange, red, like fire. JY's was like the Heavens-bright white rays. GX's was too, orange of warm. GY's was the most special-It constantly flashes between purple and white, like the moon in the night sky.

It was you guys, the bright suns and moons, lit my world. I'm on my way to thank the other 3 of them. I'm sad, really. Since you was the one who taught me more, directly and indirectly. I wish I could thank you sincerely with all my heart. But I guess it can never happen, since you want me to be invisible to your world. It pains me, when I could not share my joys and/or take your sorrows away, as you are the next  close friend that I have selected for my life. I think the only way now is to follow your wishes, which I think you'll find it to your taste.
People see my Facebook account, Hundreds over friends. How many are really mine? Probably the closest is JY, and he is not even that close. My selection for close friends are of high standards, I would thought that you make a good friend, since I saw you, I somewhat knew you are the kind that cherish relationships seriously. I am right, aren't I? I tried to get attention from you, to make you understand your position from my view. Looks like you didn't and find my attitude don't suit your taste and me disturbing and immature. This doesn't hurt me yet. The punching blow came through your email.

I find it weird, that the people I selected to be on my the top few of my friend list, always gave up their positions. It seems like the fault lies with me. If it is, how do I solve it? How do I cure it? Those that are in the middle are the ones that cheers me up, mostly my wushu friends. So far, only 1 remains in the list. 3 had left, 1 out of anger/disappointment (that's you up there); 1 out of shyness; 1 out of distance. The positions are always there for you guys, if you are reading(which I guess not, no one truly read my blog anyway).

I hope to find more candidates before I go for NS. Else I guess I have to depend on my own and stand on my own two feet. I wonder who would ever hold me if I fall. My Dad has enough on his plate, my 'closest friends' are not there, friends are too far away to help. I just need to keep on climbing up and higher.

Sometimes I wonder why sad tears doesn't come out from my eyes. I think they had all dried up by the black cold world that surrounds me. Can I ever find my sun, that she would led me out, or bring me light and warm?

I just want to talk to you again, to laugh and listen to your fantastic journey of life. I don't like this invisibility anymore...But I always keep my promises, I will not break it, even for the sake of my own pleasure, curiosity, or plain greediness for knowledge...

~Library closing~

I hope you still let me in through your doors, for I love reading such stories, and gain much insights of life. Thanks.

Tired

Again.. tiredness..woke at 1 pm..even though slept at 1 am...Planned to go training in the morning, but sore throat is back again, took medicine and went back to sleep again.

Went to Zu Lin Temple to pray today. Horrible visions yesterday night while walking home. Nearly fell down while walking. >.< Wondered what it means. Hais...Reached home about 1230am.

Sigh, even though yesterday was highly eventful and simply enriching; today totally killed the euphoria. No mood at all to share yesterday event.

What does that action meant? You want to be better than me? Sure. You better be, 'cos I'm only looking out for people who are better than me. You better improve a lot, if you want me to notice you. Though I can now say that I was always hoping you will achieve what you set out to reach, and always shall.

Horoscope was kinda right again. Totally in a relaxed mood-'everything can wait, just relax'. So yea, spent the whole day relaxing about-Facebooking, lunch, pray, facebook, vacuumed the floor, mop the floor, FB games, Pizza for dinner, Blog...

Meant to wash my clothes or bedsheets and blankets. Since Dad did my blankets while I was having lunch, so yea, relax..Thanks, Dad.

Hais...I'm so troubled right now...the visions keep flashing before my eyes...sigh..

A Capricorn Trip

Nice new environment...the "no wonder"s came after J explained to me why the kids are like so dumb and look idiotic...LOL~seriously...all like spoiled children -can't stand slight pain or tiredness..unlike those active kampong kids.

I got a new perspective of Coach RY. She really looks like him. Totally alike in appearances. Might even be mistaken for mother and son at first glance. Beautifully Dangerous. A unique trait and character. I like it. Totally puts me in a whole new situation, something like a Venus flytrap and I, the fly. However, there is much more to her physical appearances though. Her character is not the kind that I would like to cross/blacklist/ be blacklist in...Highly Dangerous. Though she really looks friendly, I'm not sure, but I sense that she place more priorities in family bonds than friendship bonds. And she's able to accept any form of criticism too. That's is sure good, 'cos she could adapt quickly and improve. And that's what happened tonight.

This is totally so cool...Like to learn her style, hmmm...

HAHA, oh yea, talking about "likes"

I not sure who u are while u read this. I placed emphasis between 'likes' and 'love'.

'Likes' are as in I admire you; I want to know more about you; I want to learn from you; I want to know everything about you.

'Love' would go more steps further. I will marry you and be with you all my life, trusting that you will not destroy my feelings and I by deceit or pure ignorance or both. I will entrust that you are the one to carry my family line and be a good and caring educator for them. I also trust you that even without me around, things function as per normally would, whether you like it or not.

Love is an important thing to me...I do NOT give that out easily...so far only one had made it,but she's is currently taken...So I think there is a bit of misunderstanding between me and a cancer girl...Never mind, I settled it her way. Hope she's is happy now. She was a interesting discovery, a good place to explore more about human attitudes and characters...But its okay, just-"Oh my! What a pity!" and leave it at that. =)

I also found out that astrology is very interesting. I'm highly comparable with Sagittarius tonight, and true enough, I got off with something. Heheh..Normally, I find Sagittarius full with airiness and power. And true enough, my Dad, Coach GY and RY. All with extraordinary powers in their own areas. Interesting!

I really like to meet more water signs soon..Pisces...I miss you...Cancer and Scorpio, please come back soon, I like to learn more from you..Peace to Earth.


Signing off
Earth Sign
Capricorn..

Sick

Damn! I'm down with sore throat (throat infection), Flu, Fever, Flu, Headache, Flu, Cough, Headache, Cough, Sore throat accordingly...Nice huh?

I wonder why she posted such words. It means a lot, I think. One word-different meanings. Who really knows whom is she referring to? (Stay negative boy, its not you, yea.) I seriously cannot help but wonder why. Why did she even visit my blog? Why did she even made friends with me if she dislike me? Why did she even bother to talk to me? Why did she seems to look in my direction and cause me distractions? Why? WHY?

I have enough pain right now, all the fever, headache and stomach cramps(gastric)...Don't think I can hold out much longer. Hope I fall on Sunday, at least finish up the performance on Saturday and whew, concentrate on studying and upcoming IVP. Hope to clinch at least a Bronze. Even I did not, guess it doesn't really matters.

The red carpets can wait, my career could not. I think it'll best if I concentrate more on my studies.

Why the "take care" and "bye"? who does it refers to? Hais..Stupid Curiousity...

------------------------continued------------------
Why online now? Why online when I am most looking forward to seeing you? Why? Are you testing me, whether I'm keeping my promise? I sure would! I NEVER break any serious promises I've made. Unless you count those "promises" like (Mum: get A for english and I'll buy you harry potter book, or Do finish your homework and I bring you go swimming). That's blackmail from Mum when I was younger...lol...I have never break any promises yet. And I intend to keep this clean record. Hmph!

Torture

I don't know how I got over this week. I couldn't stand every single turn of her head in my direction. It distracts me. And always I got this feeling that my heart is way down in my stomach whenever we part. Hais, when will I get out of this state? I know I don't wish to. A lot of things can be derived from this 2 words "Be Mature"...I already feel I've outgrown myself. So much that I wish to go back to be a child again. I miss my childhood, wish I had spent more time developing it better.

Recently had bad visions of her and situations..Highly disturbing. I wonder what they means. I hate when such things happens. I had to spend crazy time trying to decode them. Sian, sometimes I wish I do no have such gifts. But still they are useful. Hais! Disturbing visions until sore throat and now a bit feverish...Hope I can get well soon. Concentrate on this friday and saturday! Hope can make it to NDP also, haha~

Homework and schoolwork are now a chore and bore. Bad signs. Espcially maths and mechanics. Both aeros I'm not that troubled. At least I understood the principles and able to apply. But I'm way behind time for Aerosciences-didn't do any work since Lab3, which is around the last week of May..Gosh...This whole week is terrible too, late for almost all first period lesson. Only good thing is that there is WSS to look forward to...Week 16 got assessment..Hope I pass programming side.



I miss you really. I miss walking you home, even if we didn't exchange any word. It's just your company I desire. I don't need anything, any words. Just silent company. But I'm not going to break my promise to you. I never did break any except for those "blackmailed" promises by my mum.








ALRIGHTS! gotta finish Dloading the games and sleep! Welcome to another long week day...=) (positive start!) WAHAHAHA!



P.S. Juniors are spamming in Facebook. Going off to join them. I think I continue from where I left off next post..Intersting Juniors!

Attitude

I just don't get it. Am I that "aloof " or what else negative? Pull it up peeps. Tell me what are your views of my negative charateristics. Like what you don't like about me-cause I'm too handsome or too ugly or too idiotic or too quiet, WHATEVER~ Just Email to sea1993@hotmail.com. Thanks for the bother to send me. This will help me a lot in changing my life.

Big Bro Friend on msn says:
if you think that u din handle something well today
take a step back and ask yourself why
try another method the next time round
if it doesn't work
try again
there's no end to people relations
it is as dynamic as the moves u can pull during your competition

combo up to you to decide

Well...I tried twice, both didn't work out well-got sacarstic remarks and rebutted. I try play polite and nice, and get shit backs. Well, "wise" words from younger sister:"when life hands you shits, you make a poop party." well, alone i guess...lol

Haven't taken my dinner yet..Stomach is growling like crazy now..think I better fill it up with something...

Well like she said, "BE MATURE". That's easy for anyone to say. Question is always-"HOW?"...no one has ever EVER give an answer yet-be it right or wrong or whatever...typical-I'm not surprised...

*And its just a random question, to speak to you, u can just say "its none of ur business" and end the conversation...its kind of rude to leave a conversation without any proper "goodbyes" to the people you are chatting with, of cos they will ask you again la..AND I DID NOT GO AROUND TELLING PEOPLE THAT I AM INNOCENT...now I think its you who think too much/ being sensitive...Well I guess there is no end to this thing..So if you are going shoot back, I just have to keep my mouth shut to stop this then.*

OH~and readers, if you do know her, please keep this from her, she is upset/annoyed/pissed about this, and I am VERY sure you do not want to piss a pissed tigeress..=)

Love for Capricorn...

" Love isn't love unless it is expressed;
caring isn't caring unless the other person knows;
sharing isn't sharing unless the other person is included;
Loving, caring, and sharing can make for a very happy marriage. "

" I tripped over, spilled the contents;
She walked down, without a care;
flicking her cigarette over her shoulders;
that set the whole ship ablaze;
in a clear starry night sky;
once in a blue moon..."

I have only love two, and have not been able to forget any of the memories.
I wish I could. I have to try harder, since I've so far been smitten with water signs, both Cancer and Pisces...Sigh~

"A Capricorn man prefers a woman older than he, with stable financial status, not capricious, some one who is calm, who is able to keep an order and don’t spend much. If they look at a woman, they seek honesty, reliability; usually find their soul mates among the colleagues."

"When Capricorns fall in love, they They have trouble making sense of all but the most intense relationships and usually give their heart only once."

"The Capricorn lover may seem cautious and a bit cold but can be downright naughty! Capricorns' biggest problem is confidence. They always worry that a love interest will prove faithless. Capricorns respond well to domestic life because it provides stability. Once they fall in love and commit, the typical Capricorn is unlikely to jeopardize the union. They place great importance on personal happiness."

"Your ideal partner is likely to be your opposing sign, Cancer. A Cancerian's highest goal is family perfection, something you obviously treasure as well. And while they can understand your sacrificial brooding side just as intensely, their outlook on life is more supportive, caring, and ultimately, more positive. You also get along well with your fellow hard-working earth signs, Taurus (whose loving nature will cheer you up and encourage you) and Virgo (who understands your perfectionism to a tee, and will work harmoniously with you to achieve it, especially in a business partnership).
You do not get along well with Aries (too impatient and impetuous for your slow-climb approach to life), Gemini (too whimsical, with little regard for your ideals), Leo (too outgoing for you to trust), and Sagittarius (a complete opposite— you would never see eye to eye on anything). "

http://www.eastrolog.com/love-horoscopes-for-men/capricorn-man-love-profile.php

"Capricorns often feel the weight of the world upon them, and they are usually just as responsible and determined in their love affairs. They take everything seriously, and they need to know that you are as serious about your romance as they are. They don’t know it, but they also need a lover who will lighten their load – make them laugh, force them out the door to explore the world, and put some fun into life."

"The mountain goat is the symbol for Capricorn, and they want to be the best at everything they do. As a result they will rarely display any sign of weakness, and failure is their greatest fear. A true soulmate to Capricorn will be wise to ignore any cracks in the brilliant display of achievement and help quiet the relentless doubt that keeps them from climbing up the mountain. For Capricorn, spirituality is an aside—an extra that occurs when the workday is over. Without a loving partner, they can sometimes feel that life is a wasteland, so helping to bring spirituality into their life will be a great boon to them."

"Love horoscope Capricorn foresees some communicational problems in youth. He is distant with people and resists the infatuation, as he is afraid to loose the devoted person and to suffer. His instincts are not revealed for a long time. In fact, he is satisfied with minimum of pleasure, because wants minimum of pain. But a mask of ice indifference may conceal the strongest passion, which is restrained in order to be free from dangerous feelings. Some will try to fill emptiness inside, willing to gain power, or entertain themselves by collecting different things. Others become silent and may have serious nervous problems in a desert of egoism and avarice.Capricorn may resign himself to such a fate, living unhappily in solitude, as though indifference was a natural human state, or claim his loneliness to be a poof of his virtue and conceal dogmatism and acrimony under cover of false kindness.Capricorn may suffer from some painful events, happened in the past. He refuses to forget a betrayal. Love horoscope Capricorn describes this sign as faithful, loyal, living a very vulnerable life.Capricorn may live a lonely life, without love, for a long time, up to 40-50 years. Then, he opens his mind to all that he rejected in the past. He begins to live a new exciting life. "

Venus

I bet no girls would ever understand me, guys might. I really can't seem to trust females anymore. Though they are highly attractive for some, the attitudes of the 2 "ladies" in my family puts my thoughts haywire. So far, I have only been able to trust (not of kin) 2 females..pathetic huh? I hope I am able to find someone like them again, and I'm gonna cherish ALL the times I'm gonna spend with her. Now that I had already lost 2 of my chances and both do not accept why I have this attitude, I feel like time is running out...I'm already 18 this year, I only got 12 more years till my deadline...It's so hard to survive in Singapore nowadays...

Reality

Thanks to Dad for bringing me back to reality...I hope I got the strength to face it and not fall asleep again...though Wushu is part of me, and I can NEVER let it go, I need to reconsider its priority- to keep fit or to push my limits. Now that time is running out fast, I REALLY need to put in more effort in my studies, securing my career first.

He repeated the many life stories of his friends. I understood. I need to wake up, I can't train forever, nor be an assistant coach forever; my body will get weak and old, risk of injures will be more frequent. I don't want anyone to be taking care of me when I am old. I want independence, self reliance.

The cost of standard of living is going sky high here. I NEED to focus more on securing my new family. Else, I think, I be alone, till the day I die, like my uncle. He's rich, but single-alone; no children, no family. I have to see my LIFE smoothly going. I guess, I have to be like some of the alumni..though I HATE the feeling, its something I gotta accept and face. Singapore though is my home, but it is certainly a expensive one.

Wake Up, Sea. Time to decide where your priorities lies...

Lately...

WHOA!!! so long already...hahas, nope blog is not neglected. Just that Common Test week is just over, and it was directly after WOC2011.

WOC2011 was superb- the games were way better than the previous one, probably because that last year they were kind of short-handed, and Faci.s didn't really participate. This year best was the Dodge-ball, 'cos a few seniors participated as well as 2 of the alumni who turned up! But the best was the Skit, for last year. This year (for me) was terrible. I had to stop the boys several times bullying their friend. I can't stand the teasing, sometimes it really gets way too overboard. So I tried to shield him, well it kind of succeeded, at least by a bit..Now I guess the rest is up to him now to handle. I hope he understood what I meant...

So after WOC is Study, NOT revision..lol...who studies just before their tests? Only C plus graders(unless paper easy or that geek is sure good), to get A's have to constantly study, only revise before exams. Well, I be getting a healthy B for my papers I think. At least this is only Common tests, I gotta do better for promotional exams! But that means that I'll have to handle my time REALLY well, and no procrastination for studying, etc...SIAN~Oh, and I just got news that one of my would-be lecturer passed away on vacation. RIP...

Sunday training was ok-bearable. Until the training for jumps. My ankle cracked again, not surprised since it cracked during WOC training session. Went to see Mr Doc on Monday, got the news that my  ankle muscle and shin mucles are twisted, and ankle's ligaments are loosened. Can't be treated-this will follow me forever, unless I go for surgery to cut to shorten and re-attached the ligaments.Then will I recover my 100% ankle power. What to do? 90% danger of getting my ankle totally loosened, 10% luck that I don't. I take risks-10%, continue the training. Afterall, after next year IVP I don't intend to train. Wish to help out, bring in more people in the world of wushu, especially into NYP Wushu team. My target of getting that red carpet into NYP is still there, just that I realised I cannot do this alone.

Wednesday was the most terrible night I had. Thursday is the worst. I lost my Xperia 8. Kind of dropped it. But I was so sure it was in my bag, together with my wallet. Instead, both got lost. Wallet had $80- 3 $10 and 1 $50, and phone was "strapped" to wallet. Wallet was found on that very night, but with $30 gone, left $50 inside. Phone was also gone. Dumb thief eh? Took my phone and $30, but not $50. WHAT IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD WAS HE THINKING? Seriously no brains at all, what's more is that he dared to return the wallet, knowing fully that his faced will be on CCTV! But probably also not him, maybe some other good guy picked wallet up after thief disposed it, 'cos wallet ended up at Bishan Mrt Station. I love that particular phone, it contained me inside, part of my life is recorded inside. I feel terrible..."feel",not "felt"...="(

Today, whole day alone at home. Didn't know what to do anyway. I seriously envy my neighbour now, even though he is kind of slow-witted. At least he have friends. Well, I had...seriously had...
went for class at HW, the kids forgot a lot of the things already. Had to re-teach them again. Went to KFC then pasa malan for supper.
I missed you...I'm sorry, I didn't meant to, I just thought that you just knocked off work, since its already 6pm...
OKAYS~gotta do socks and sleep...

Avoidance

Should I avoid? Should I stand put? Should I?
Not a concidence on Sunday...I felt you telling me..I just did what you told me..
Avoiding in process, then...
I can't focus without thinking of you...
Hope tomorrow papers will be understandable for me to get a healthy 'B'...
Hope I won't think of you during tomorrow papers,
Hope tomorrow night I can make it for class
Just to see you...
Singaporeans just love "Black & White"s...
I love your pink jacket

Last week

Having camp now...damn tired already, but I still wanna say a quickie.
Focus on your work now, get ur GPA...
"Life without your sound seems quiet..."
I kind of understand...that's why I dare not have too many friends, trust is a fragile thing...
Just watched finished I'm Not Stupid Too with the juniors...
I want to see you already, to hold you, hug you, while we enjoy the happy moments.
Nights!
I don't want to pull you down, though I'm missing you like crazy right here and now..

so tired, cannot even shit...

This week is hell... starting from Saturday... god..messed up the rehearsal...
I'm just too occupied with you on my mind...went to your playground to meet a friend.

Sunday...Slept like a pig; ate like a glutton...play like shit...what a life!
Wondered where you went...missed you all day...

Monday...Woke up late, still can play. Touched maths revision, didn't do half. Touched Physics revision, copy answers..Went for training, Bruised up...cocked up...
Dreading the training...scared of your reactions...of facing you...

Tuesday...Woke up early, watch movie, heck the study...Went for meeting, didn't contribute, buddy too noisy, played Frisbee...at least good thing is done maths revision...Evening, disappointed...ankle "crack"-ed again...Midnight...worse...struggled to controlled the feelings of parting...
Glad to see you, sad to see you leave...

Now? Washed Tuesday uniform, going to play 1 quest, watch her go offline, do physics 1 question...sleep.
Sweet dreams, I settle that nuisance for you if you want, let me have some fun!

Tomorrow? pack bag...hopefully camera can work. camp~
See you later tonight...

Jialat for Saturday...hopefully don't cock up...PLEASE GOD.....NO COCK UP....
Hope I don't get too dazzled by you...LOL
Singapore always talk about Black and White...

Me, again

Just woke up 40 mins ago, with a cough, sore throat and spinning giddyness headache. I wonder what happened. And I just got the answer within a few minutes. I just don't know what to say.

I'm not an actor, I only supressed my feelings deep inside me, so you'll feel I'm without emotions and am very quiet. All of my emotions are under the many layers I had created to protect myself from the external negative emotions. But still, internal negative emotions could also affect me, and the best way for me is to meditate. Also there are many who could open or removed some of these layers; maybe I removed them myself, either way. Once removed, they come bursting out. So I'm not surprised if anyone is scared by the sudden change in me. If I were not to put these layers on my emotions, I'm afraid I'll go crazy. REALLY CRAZY. There are many occasions that I did, some were positively crazy and some were negatively crazy.

Nor do I dislike any of the entries your made. In fact, I'm always looking forward to them, to let me know what is a person everyday life's like. More importantly is that I could gain some interesting infomation that might be coming my way, so I could prepare myself for it. I always like conversing with older people, lets me understand things I don't or not heard of. My grandparents and Dad are 4 such people. Now that I am under wushu activities again, I like to know how to manage my time. Searching for answers is very easy; the thing is to apply it, more difficult. Reading, observing, examining, studying other people is always an interesting subject- Social studies. It tells us the mistakes, the downfalls, the ups, the emotions, etc that people have made and sometimes, why. The only thing now is how to apply it to our daily life so that we do not made the same mistakes again, and probably use the same motivation the previous had use to commit ourself to our own goals.

Its also interesting how simple things like "Thank you, Please, Sorry, jiayou", treats, a helping hand, compliments, and even more ridiculous- a single word, can made a difference, both positively and negatively. Point is to look on the bright side, isn't that what everyone is saying?

If you asked me to stop, why were you looking at mine in the first place? I wondered, that's all.

Alrights! Work now, since I missed WSS training today, might as well start on revision. JIAYOUS!

Wednesday

Sunday was a weird day. Didn't know what came over me. WOW, she treated me to soyabean milk, didn't accept my money, so its a treat right? Well, I'm not that kind of person that accepts treats that easily, even from the BFF, except from family. If you insist upon me, then I will try to find a way to repay you in any way I thought best. So I thought hard during the train ride home, remembered that the best present would be a sincere compliment right from the heart. Lol, its wasn't that hard to find. Both of us were dozing off during the ride, so I just observed what I could about her. LOL! Its damn cute and funny. Seriously, a lot people look either funny or embrassing when they slept on train rides, she was one of them. Can't stop grinning inside, HAHAs!!!! XD  The only sad thing is that I spelled "complement" instead of "compliment"...I wonder she knows the difference between them? If so, oh no, got embrassed by my own spelling. Lol.
Monday was tiring. Partnered with the big boy and stripped the whole system off the tabletop. So damn scared I break the wires and forget how to assemble back. Well, in the end really did broke a screw-lots of rest breaks too. Coach was cool. Went for evening training, GOD! That somewhat killed me. But at least I managed to do 7 sets. COOL! I didn't know I can do so much lo. But of course the standard dropped after the first 3 sets. Only got annoyed with Butterfly and Tiepo, GY told me I got a different pattern each time I do the Butterfly. Sad that I lost both the feelings for Tiepo and Aerial. Need to train back them! Hopefully Steven will be free soon, to follow me go gym. Got a nice suprise that she turned up for the training.

Tuesday was crazily tired, extremely late for WSS. Whole abdomen aching whenever I stretched. Today I solo-ed the Handling system (I think it is, forgot the name already, the system JY and Benedict did on Monday). I nearly cried while disassembling. ITS SO GOD DAMN HARD TO REMEMBER! There's about a 50 screws, washers, nuts, and long wires, tubings, etc, etc. Lucky JY went for the training, else I seriously would end WSS at 6pm. Sad Dominic didn't came yesterday, no entertainment. Went down for class, as usual, then did 3 sets of GY's stamina and 4 of mine. Surprisingly mine was much easier. Not that tiring, should have done more to push myself. Luckily didn't too, 'cos got a dry run for the camp later in the afternoon and NDP at night. I don't want to get too tired before Saturday comes. Looking forward to seeing her later. HAHA "cartoons of H20!" LOL~

Nights!



I don't know who you are refering to in your blogs, but if it is me, I'll stop. Sorry.

SATURDAY!

Was greatly looking forward to NDP rehearsal, its the only time

to see her now. Can't get enough. Haha. Missed her like crazy.

NDP was good, though it could be better, since we did a nice job in the hall. Damn the gravel road..Its a pain to lie down..Felt I grazed my elbows a few times. Chiong to Subway straight after NDP. Lucky they haven't close yet. Else I'll miss it greatly.

Common Tests are coming soon. I haven't revised anything yet-no mood. Kept watching movies in the clubroom even though was supposed to finish the plannings for WOC. Its gonna be great! I can feel it already. WSS is kinda boring now, like a job/commitment I have to keep regardless. Maybe I shouldn't have taken the offer,  kind of regretted now. But yet, this is once a lifetime opportunity! Horoscope says I'm "driving with both the brakes and gas on"...Yeah, true. I hope I can presevere till the prelimanry rounds, then I'll leave it to Fate to decide whether I'll go to the finals. If I am, then I guess I have to pause my driving lessons until next long holiday, or if year 3 have enough time...

24 hours- 6 for sleeping, 3 for wushu, 2 for bathing/eating, 1 for facebooking, 10 for studying. 2 for travelling. Just nice..LOL.

HAIS! but the past few days the studying time got some problem so it kind of turned into facebooking time... HAIS!!!!

No Life

Hope tests won't fail...and I miss you..='(

Me...

Well, the previous post shows my star sign..much about my personality. In fact, I LOVE to laugh, I could laugh the whole day non-stop about nothing, but people will think I'm crazy. I'm always loyal to people who had helped me in the past, done me a big favour and always tried to give something similar in return. If not, I try to pass the kindness onwards to someone else. This is what I have done. Yes, I somehow cannot make sense of what people are talking about most of the time, maybe I think too differently. And of course, relationships doesn't affects my performance. Fatal Flaw is Feeling blue...oh dear! Gonna have to change that- I Love Blues, gave me a lot of time to think. Hmmm, What does it meant by secret agendas? Mine or the other party? Aw, too bad again. I just love collecting things...possessiveness..Reachable goals..yeap okay, I set my goals lower then...

Now for bed!

Nights!

check out this korean got talent show...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BewknNW2b8Y

Me

Comfort is vital to Capricorns born on January 15. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually, they do what they can to make the world better. They gravitate toward good feelings, good works, and good intentions. They enjoy living in the lap of luxury but never lose sight of the intangibles that make life worth living.

Capricorn Information for January 15You should embrace: Laughter, spiritual riches, reachable goals You should avoid: Feeling blue, secret agendas, possessiveness

Friends and Lovers

People born on this day are loners yet possess a magnetism that draws people to them. They are loyal and supportive to friends. They have trouble making sense of all but the most intense relationships and usually give their heart only once. They have little problem keeping relationships separate from personal expectations.

Children and Family

Family matters have an important place for those born on January 15. They have leadership potential and are often regarded as the scion of the family. As parents, they encourage their youngsters to develop independence and self-sufficiency yet are anxious to protect them from failures and disappointments.

Health

Although blessed with general good health, January 15 individuals possess an extremely sensitive nature that can negatively affect their physical well-being. In order to retain emotional and physical equilibrium, it's important for them to practice meditation, especially before bedtime.

Career and Finances

January 15 natives know how to take care of business. Career goals play a vital role in their lives, though it may take a long time for them to discover where their deepest interests lie. When they do settle on a career, they give their all. They enjoy making money, although that isn't an especially important factor in their career choice.

Dreams and Goals

Although they wear the mask of practicality with conviction, people born on January 15 have a complicated nature. They want to create a legacy. Their dreams may be far more fanciful and creative than those who know them might expect. For this reason, they often turn to the creative arts for personal expression. Painting, writing, or music help them achieve their inner potential.

Too much of a concidence

@_@ 57 mins ago, I wished for the rain to slow down for about 10-15mins so she can go home. and 44 mins ago, she got home. WOW! its about 14 mins difference! @_@

More interesting is that when I scolded the weather, it bcame more violent.

Too much of a concidence eh?

Beginning End

Life starts alone and ends alone. The only different is you bring memories while journeying towards the end. Death is nothing, but just another one great adventure. Parting is inevitable. Journey forward, look backwards; Reach for the goals, remember those that helped you. If you can't bear pain, don't bear the burden.

Alone. Cold.
Alone. My tears had run dry.
Alone. Darkness is now my ally.
Alone. Witness the new Beginning.
Alone...

HIYAS~

Been missing you lately, wish I'm by your side to hold you when you are most down. Too bad I can't, not my position anyway.

When can I have my own room? Hais, so tired of sharing sleeping together. I wish I could sleep alone, for once.

Found a new singer, Colbie Caillat, nice voice, deep and rich. Nice.

This week not much things. Depressing lately. Most year ones are reluctant to join the Orientation camp. Whta should I do? hmm, this seriously resembles GY asking me this question now. "Orientation not enough people, what will you do?" Hais! His tone and style of asking questions always stumped me. How can there be 2 person in this world so alike? He's kind of like my Dad, both Sagittarius, and always giving direct critism and advice, no beat around the bush; straight to the point.

Once a capricorn, always a capricorn. I not like Sagittarius, always giving sound advice in the correct time, but rather advice not to take risks. I think that is my fatal flaw, the personality that will cause me my downfall. Too much caution.

Dad chide me today, told me I was putting too much time into my passion, which poked my heart greatly. That is an ugly truth. I'm still stuck on my studies and haven't got that goddamn report done yet.. F*...handing in this wednesday afternoon...shit...And for other modules...I'm still somewhat stuck at week 3-4. I wonder how to catch up like this. Hais!

Fallen ill today, hope she'll recover fast. I wonder if I take pictures of her besties, would it help to cure some of the missing feeling? Hais..what should I do? So complicated, everytime, always the same question- "What should I do?"...=.=" My fatal flaw working up again, I dare not take risks that ruin our friendship now.

Slept the whole evening, now can't sleep. Damn.

test

test~

Yesterday-Monday

Was not exactly a bad day- didn't slept in class! whee~I paid full attention some more. Maths is easy to understand, difficult to master; like Wushu. And that little girl in my class just don't understand me. I never said that my classmates are idiots-just that, well, they look like and acted like fools sometimes...Can't help laughing, god- it just so silly... Everything is easy to me, just as long as it sounds logical and reasonable, but difficult for me to remember and master the skill or the action or whatever it is. So that's one part about me, that's why I rarely spoke is because I'm observing the ways people act in different situations. Seriously, it is VERY FUNNY to see their immediate reactions sometimes.

Went to National Museum for NE trip...Damn sian, 'cos they walked too fast for me to properly understand and explore the Museum thoroughly. I guessed I'll just have to revisit it again with a good camera. Was a good trip, had a nice tea at Astons after which they shared ice-cream waffle at Ben&Jerrys, while I went to check out the Adidas track pants. God~its damn expensive! $59.55 after GSS and Citibank discount! But I REALLY like it lo..Should I buy? If I did, I think I only wear it for friday class at HW.

Evening-night training at TPY swimming complex. A lot of swimmers in the pool, and the pool stinks. Worse than CCK...Swallowed a bit of it and inhaled some...Feeling ill now. Did a few flips and was warned by the lifeguard on duty. So only did BT and hand flips. Disappointed with buddy, after hearing some of the news from President. That's is also why I prefer not to make friends, I HATE seperations...I HATE LEAVING AND NOT GOING BACK. For this kind of things- graduation/cca/etc, to me, its like a one way street. Either you continue going down the road, or you make your turn and never come back. That is also why I never dared to fall in love, I'm scared of self destruction...

A female friend on Facebook posted-"Love is not just trusting a stranger for life; Love is about giving your life to the stranger and trust that he will not destroy you. "...and while searching for this, I found this, "I’d rather be your lover then your friend, but I’d rather be your friend then your nobody."

Well, that's more about me tonight...Gotta go now, less than 6 hours sleep left...gotta treasure it! Nites 

Prediction

I told her to busied herself with work to forget the disappointment. I can't get the results, 'cos well, she didn't want to give a long answer...

I bet she will blog again this week, unless she was informed before hand...Let's do this experiment again, shall we?

hmm...maybe it's just coincidence..But can it happen so many times to one person?! Miracle if it does..

I REALLY want to know, the answer behind this whole thing. Laws of the Universe. I only hope that I won't become "big-headed" like that guy in Megamind, 'cos I know too much.

Ignorant is indeed Bliss..

Just As Predicted

What in the world is this ability? Human link? What is going on? I felt so tired everytime I used it...I think I'm gonna drop dead asleep now..Going for a refreshing shower now, shall explain later.

Just know that it came true..hmmm..

Competition

Less than 24 hours...Scared I can't sleep now...

I got this from a friend. "A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses these skills to accomplish his goals." -Larry Bird

What if I'm scared of my talents? I always wondered what is wrong with me...Somehow, somewhere, not physically or mentally, nor emotionally. I got a feeling I have a six sense...Not the one that see ghosts..Can't explain it well now...I'm still finding out, see whether this ability of mine is accurate and real..by testing it out every night. I wonder is there a name for it?

Hais, tomorrow is the day...damn, senior routine is already like way above mine-so many jumps and flips...Hope I can at least learn them before this year IVP, and master for next year IVP...I need to get gold, I want to help NYPWUSHU! That's my pact.

Hope ankle be a good ankle tomorrow and not give me any trouble, else it'll be embarrassing..LOL

I bet she will get the medal tomorrow...who'll knows?
Night

Ankle

Saturday Competition- Win for NYP...Gold for NYP...

A sudden thought-Will master still teach me some other methods? I wonder...I think 5% yes...haha
Ankle sudden pain today...I wondered why...no pain unless sitting awkwardly...really need to buy the bandages tmr...god, I spent like 600+ this month for everything like my weapon, doc fees, food, etc...

I just don't get something right...left maybe..

consider it tmr...Cool Night!

I just don't get it

Interpretation of Signs, Body, Concidences, Words, what in the world is going on? I can't help feeling wrong and twisted...My mind is thrown into a total hurricane. I just want to know, to know more, to understand how things work and what words meant. Sociality is one thing that I think I can never ever finish learning.

I miss the old her, really. The 1st time I ever saw her, the impression, the smile, the character, the feeling...now all are different. Her past, so highly interesting and eventful with emotions, are now seem to be filled with loneliness and sadness. I want to see the old one again..I miss her really.

I just want to be by your side, quietly...='l

Time Machine...an interesting thought, Mr President...

Chicken talking to Duck

I just don't understand...What in the world is going on?...

Invitation

WHOA!!! This is one hell of a shock..

My favourite white lions got injured while training, the right was in 2 pieces now, joined by tape (LOL). The left suffered injures near the tip...Hais...Sad

SO! I went downtown to get a new pair and guess what? I got invited to his home! Shocked like crazy.

Him: So you end class already?
Me: Yes.
Him: What you going to do after this?
Me: Not sure, maybe walk around and explore the place.
Him: Why not come over to my house for a cup of tea?
Me: *stunned* er...May I?....Ok....


LOL! One hell of a serious shock! I mean, I'm not "close" to him, and I'm not that good or extra-talented, why? Up till now, this happended last friday, I still can't figure it out.

It is great fun! His house is a "mansion"- front yard, fish pond, back yard, 3-4 stories high and, 4 doggies, one of them tried to stop me from entering after I came out of the toilet. =.= I didn't dare explore the topmost, though I would like to know what the architect was thinking when he drew the plan for the building. His grandchildren were great fun, though both bit me on my shoulder when I refuse to let them bully the youngest. HAHA damn Funny lo. He played a movie, don't know what it was, kind of interesting -a guy carrying an alien crash onto a "old-en"  kind of planet, and the vikings help him kill the alien, which escaped when the spaceship crashed. Even though almost everyone died in the end, quite an action packed movie. He fell asleep halfway, just like my grandfather does- cute la, hahas.

Didn't get any tea, though he told us to help ourselves and make ourselves feel at home . But that young gentlemen tried to "say sorry" for his biting me, poured me a glass of water, seeing that I was coughing. Smart boy, he's only 5, I think. So I just played with the 3 of them until dinnertime, and got to eat with Smartie and him...Of course Smartie still being a kid, need feeding by his grandma. I thought I saw myself when I was young, made me feel I have walked a long way..
Then went down to HQ with him...still in a state of shock that I am sitting in a car full with "VIPs" people from the martial world...hmmm, I wonder her cough is gone yet. I hate the weather nowadays, its making a lot of people sick, including me.

The only bad thing from this trip was 3 mosquitoes' bites and flies getting into my rice and fried eggs...the kids biting me wasn't that bad, 'cos I already had "trainings" with my cousins and a few kids in the daycare center when I was still in primary school, so its nothing new. I now somewhat wished they bit me harder, so at least I got a mark to show off- HAHA cold joke~.

Wushu- Ankle's not getting better, though not getting worse either. Bad thing now is my left hip joint to my leg and my right knee. Why? 'Cos I kept landing hard on my left thigh and my right leg against my left foot...Dammit...I really need to see him do it again..and try out in the gym...hais.

Wish I could take a break, maybe a month? After the competition to recover, I wonder whether would he allow it?

Bless her-your child, Moon...

Yesternight

Was one of the most interesting night I ever had this month. Hmm, I got to talk to one of the Alumni to know more about the world outside..Its really very much different.

Full moon again..I wish The Jade Rabbit did heard my pleas. Please fufil them...

Lol, guess what? I wanted to ask her out for the upcoming movie. I wonder how her reactions would be like-most probably rejection, suspicions, fear. Hais..It felt like years even though its only weeks. I hoped I have not bound myself yet, 'cos if I did, there shall be no turning back...

Hmmm...

Nites.

ENVISION

One just need to vision himself/herself getting it, doing it, and he/she will get it. If One thinks that their target is far, thus will always be far. If One thinks that they have done it in the mind, reality shall take place.


Jiayous. Concentrate. Focus.

Vesak Day

Slept like a pig today....Whoa yesterday WAS FUN!! Enjoyed watching Rapunzel with the 2 seniors and President..Funny lo. Then went to SingaporeSTOMP and saw funny pictures of people doing sports. I got severe stomachaches when i just got to the 28 of 60 pictures. It's so goddamn FUNNY! And I could not laugh out loud because she was sleeping, Guess she's really tired. I think GX thought I was crazy laughing to myself while looking at FB homepage(I Alt-Tab to stop myself laughing and just nice he came into the room)...LOL.

Training was also fun. Did individual twice and sad to say, not very good. Made mistakes where they can and should be avoided. At least my theory is correct now. And my ankle was ok, taped it securely though, hate the inflexibilty...hmph. Damn aerials, I got you now, and you are not running away. Keep the feel man! Oh, and BIG CONGRATULATIONS to those who did/got aerials. =) LOL~its like getting 1st solo..haha.


Now washing laundry again...I am wearing my shirts too fast...I'm scared they'll tear from so much washing...hmph! And downloading movies to watch...well squeezing the time to watch them lo...


OK no more here~! Acutally there's hell lots more...no time! HAHA~

Searching for Songs now...Nights!

 

cold

I so much wanted to hold her right now...but its just not right...

Using songs to express...

I tried putting everything together...seems like this is the best way... hmm but not exactly what I wanted to express... hmm.

"
Hey baby girl
I've been watching you all day
Man that thing you got behind you is amazing
You make me want to take you out and let it rain
Now if I talk it girl, you know that I will walk it out
Man I'll put my money money where my mouth is
Cause you're the baddest little thing that I've ever seen~ Leavin'

I'm tryin', I'm tryin' to holler at you
I want to get to know you better.
I'm lifting up my voice to say
You're the hottest girl in the world today.
The way you shake
You got me losing my mind~ Body Language

I've been missing you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
Damn those sweet memories
Tried my best at movin' on
Have yet to find a girl like you
See things now I didn't before
Now wishin' I had more time with you
How do you stay awake
Knowin' all I do is think of you
If I could just see you
If I had my way i'd come and get you girl
In your favourite car with the missing top
Around my way where we used to park
And did all those things to steal your heart
Tell me that you're gettin' more sleep
Can't think can't eat till I come see you.~ How Do You Sleep

It's like a blood rush straight to my head
When I think about you in my bed.
She's all up in my veins.
Ooh, I got addicted.
Her love is so addictive.
It took over me.
She's all up in my veins.
It's like I got a shot.
Injection to my heart.
It flows through my body.
She's all up in my veins.
And I need it everyday.
Good lovin' oh baby,~ In My Veins
We've run out of words we've run out of time
We've run out of reasons really why we together
We both know it's over baby bottom line
It's best we don't even talk at all
Don't call me even if I should cross your mind
Hard enough I don't need to hear your voice on my messages
Let's just call it quits it's probably better
So if I'm not returning your calls it's 'cause
'Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closing the door
I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore
I got the picture phone but baby your picture's gone
Couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed
You know that it's over when the burnin'
And the yearnin' inside your heart ain't there anymore
And you know that you're through when she don't do to you
And move you like the way she moved ya before
And you wanna pull her close
But your heart has froze
You kiss her but her eyes don't close
Then she goes out of your heart forever
And it hurts you but you know that it's better
Girl you know it's over~ Its Over

Can we not fight no more?
I don’t wanna feel the pain we’ve caused.
Let’s call a truce tonight,
cause my guards are down.
We’ve been moving too fast,
Baby with nowhere to go.
Every chance we have just seems to go up in smoke.
Send an SOS yeah cause we ’bout to choke.
This flight could go down…
Look at how far we have come.
We still can get it back, we still can get it back.
The damage can all be undone.
Let’s just take baby steps, let’s just take baby steps,~ Crash & Burn
You found somebody who does it better than he can
No more making you cry
No more them gray skies
Girl we flying on a g-5, g-5
And we're leavin' never looking back again
So call your shawty you tell him you found a new man
The one who's so so fly
The one to keep you high
Have you singing all night, night night~ Leavin'

Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress
No stress, no stress, no stress
Girl you deserve nothing but the best~ Leavin'
"

All lyrics are from Jesse McCartney-Departure: Recharged songs

Thunder

I can't hear your laughter, nor see your smiles anymore...It either shock me or it is Thunder...

so much to say...

My Best

Yes. I will do it. My Best.

1)Distance away from you.
2)Win Bronze/Silver for National.
3)Score A for Common Tests.
4)B-twist and Aerial.
5)All Projects/Assignments get A
6)Remind myself about you.
7)Score A for exams.
8)Win IVP.

I will distance myself not to let you have any reminders. I will do it, because I have done it, and will do it again not to hurt you. Be Strong. Do not release Hope. Victory shall be ours.

Jiayous!

Iced Heart

Chris Medina's "What are Words" gave me a lot of thinking...I'm trying to, yet, HOW?

I developed this method since long forgotten...It was she who melted it, I wonder how she did it...and I forgotten how to ice it back...

Find a way quickly...hopefully...

I promised myself to bring back the cup to NYP, but I know I cannot do it alone. I hope Coach will tell me some of his plans, so I can help generate more ideas to increase our chances...Just like the video I just watch- "I not only use all of my brains, I even used the borrowed brains." My plans for this new batch is simple. If he is going for group, bonding is most important. It has to be develop-ASAP. Tranings for power, jumps, etc are more time consuming and tiring. Now, I'm experimenting ways to condition jumps... Some thoeries worked; some didn't, and quite painful. I think it is magical that I am able to do my routine accordingly.

Too bad this friday gym is not open. Hope to get more news soon, so can try out the theories...

Oh, and if You are reading my blog, I like to ask- Why?

Nights.

Forgiveness

The World Most Hardest Person To Forgive

-Yourself

by AchanA

Horoscope

It was right...It was foretold that she will meet a very brief and intense passion...but it will not last...

True enough, it is brief, rather intense, and we shall see how it ends...


She shall be emotionally drained and tired out...

Guess I should move further, prevent further happenings...

It's all my fault...too reckless and careless...

I'm Tired and Scared..

I thought you would be the one that could teach me happiness. You did-You made me smile. I wish I could give something in return. I guess that is to really move away from you...Disappear.

12am...

The time Courage left...
The time Things get done...
The time I left...
The time Pressure left...
The time Stress came...
The time Disappointment ran in...
The time is Over.

Trust Drunk

Up till now, there are still many secrets, within me, yet do not belong to me. I wish I can just "open the bottle cap and pour everything out".

I have already taken steps to improve the relationship, to be given the "rights" to know. A simple example, I learnt from my past mistake, is that, even if I know the secrets, I need to "earn" from the person who "own" it. That is to say that I need to hear it from the person himself, else, there is no truth/secrets and the infomation I had is unreliable. Simple and effective. Though I know had a few infomation at hand right now, I still use the ,what people call it, polite way of possession of the infomation. So in order to gain infomation you already have, but to do it in a "formal" way, you need to ask the person involve, yes? Well, I'm trying hard to ask, making sure I made correct moves. But now its gone, no more, ended, no need to ask, gamers call it "Game Over".

Another thing I learn is that never post anything while "Drunk". This term simply means "Not in the current state of mind" or simply put "crazy". Well, I guess after a crazy 2.4km run in about 12 mins made me "Drunk", 1st thing home was to check FB status and post blog while cooling down. WHAT A MISTAKE...

There wouldn't be a next time, then...

2 years left

If I could live through the 4 years of secondary, why not the 3 years in Poly? I have done it, and shall do it again!

That's why I told certain things in advance, to prepare to tell a truth, at the correct time, correct place. I see where I am wrong now. But the thing is that issue has not reach/ affect the person/people involved, so why let them know now, not later at a correct atmosphere? I don't understand.

I should have guess that Fate is making a fool of me. It gave a lot of signs too, I didn't really took notice of them- too bad. Since things had already been told, or rather said to a certain extend- I don't really know, I guess I just have to go with the flow then.

But for now, The route I planned, I think, still remains the best route for my run. I could see the sky at certain spots, people returning home from work, etc, passing through fond childhood memories sites...

I sincerely wished that things have not come to such state. But, what can I do? Nope, I cannot not ignore and pretend nothing had happened...Guess I have to figure this situation out myself...

It's Coming...

I wondered how to cope with it, even though others had done it before me, I still fear.
Guess that can't be helped. And recently my body fire left me, felt so cold everyday, everynight.. Shit, where did it go?

Perfecting the twin sabres now for the competition. Going to clean my eyeballs now then sleep. My lips are burning up...Bad signs.

Nights...

May 2

So sian, stuck with a long holiday without training...damn it, have to do it my way. Guess I go for lunch and home movies or study later till evening then start my training. Or else I have to wait till night time...

And I had enough of sacarsm in my secondary school...

And recently(just now), saw her blog, wondered who she's referring to. Whatever, I hope our friendship remains.

Guess I have to search for a new goal den...maybe not though...fighting fire with fire, using anger to create strength might be a good thing for now..., guess I have to use this method until I find a new motivation...=/

whatever

yea, just whatever.

Heart, Mind, Soul

Weeaallp!

Club Crawl 2011 is over, photos haven't uploaded, JACKY~!!!! I think the drive with RQ anyway. =.=" But never mind lo since everyone are busy with school stuffs and SERIOUSLY! I have never seen my timetable SO PACKED before! Starts @ 9 end @ 5... haven't plus Wushu yet, included World Skills... and WOW!

Honestly, I really don't know how to cope with the studies...my absorbing is good, but practising skills sucks...Hell. What's more is that SHE came to NYP! Fu*k la...Just when I gotten over her, must she re-appear before me again?! It might be fate though, yeap, GY said that a lot of things are fated. I guess that is somewhat correct.

I came to NYP:

1. SYFC is nearby, thought of going to fly my models. but in the end didn't now left 2 brand new gas engines and 2 sec-handed engines.
2. Grandma's House is nearby, got cousins to play if I'm bored. Now obviously not.
3. The only course that offers 2 types of aircraft technology.

So yea, I stop flying was that the cca here sucks, only 2 to 5 people truely interested- me, president, VP, secretary, etc. So I went back to Wushu, to better my body. Guess what? yea met GY. LOL I only remebered he won lots of JingSai medals, and his jumps are the some of the best during his time. I'm not sure I got his autograph lo- I remebered I got an autograph from a Wushu Artist, forgot whom.

sorry i just doused myself in powder. duno why, just suddenly felt very warm...

Oh yea, today freshies came tryouts. Not bad, 2 aerials guys, and a number learned wushu before. Guess next year or hopefully this year will clinch the cup...I look forward to Duilian! Never really like solo play...I like more of organized play- fast and furious. WAHAHA!

I walked home today...still missed the bus, but I learned what I wanted. Somewhat hopeful, with regret...Fated, I guess that I came to NYP wushu and met you...hais, perhaps it will be better to let nature take its course. What will happened after August 13? I wonder ..

So training the mind-study, the heart-wushu, the soul-rest....


NIGHTS!

2 Timers

hiyas, ok im not about caps or punc's now-a quickie. Just finished listening/watching a MV on 我爱他 by 丁当。Quite good.

the MV made me realised that love is sure complicated. and guys are simply hard to understand. even i don't understand myself sometime. why did guys(not all, some) just love to hop from a girl to next? some worse. take the girl virginity den hop to another. i hate such ppl cos my sister was a victim. A dumb sister, lol-so what she got 10 points higher than me in PSLE? she's no better than me in a overall, i think. The MV showed a guy romances with DingDang(the singer/actor in MV) den he 2 times her by sleeping wif another on his birthday. poor DD saw half of the thing. not sure whether jumped off the bridge at the end. Heck.

But Basic- Why do you love someone so much, and ditched her for a nightstand/another girl? If you really love her, why change girl? That's why up till now, i never had a girlfriend. cos i got a feeling that girl really do need security feeling by saying "i love you". Those 3 words are so meaningful to me that i cannot express the meaning to in words. And i am the kind of person that meant what i say, unless i purposely wanted to trick, prank, which is very rare. If it ever happened on you, then i letting you know that u are considered a friend. If you can take more of pranks while studying with me, u are a good friend.

Honestly, those 3 words, i think i got lost somewhere in my throat, and my heart had flown away(goodness knows where.) If a girl comes along and found both...I'll marry her upon 3 conditions(haha). so yeah, i just get it, why guys 2 times their partners. i mean, why do you do so? when ur heart is with her?

well, maybe it's to express another version of himself to another girl. but seriously, how many are there "you"? for me i got 3...HEH HEH~

Curiousity killed the cat

Seriously hais, "Curiousity killed the cat". It killed my perfect images of them. I wonder why my wushu seniors are smoking, like nowadays...Coach ZC smokes, and a few seniors. Simple reasons they gave-to De-stress.

Yeah ok that's a great answer. But still not good enough. I always have a way to De-stress, 1)wushu is the best, 2)PC games are the next, 3)Read.

I always find the last one the most interesting. When I read, my imaginations runs. when I don't, I simple couldn't. Playing the PC games are not exactly my 'trait', I'm not a gamer; more like a gamer pirate(heheh). I just love to download lots of games and store them. Collecting is one of my 'traits'- you should see my bookshelf. And then I would upload the games once I got my paypal account and then wait for the $ to roll in. Wushu is more of like a hobby and medicine. Hobby because I like it- it teaches me the chinese “任”(perseverance) and I get to meet new people (Social). Medicine was because when I was young, I had asthma and a lot of other sicknesses. Even now, I have morning sneezes (sad to say). And yeap, Wushu did cure my asthma, shapened my body muscles' foundations nicely. I just have to build more to get the shape right. So all-in-all, the ways are kind of 'killing 2 birds with one stone'. I don't understand why people have to smoke to de-stress...

Honestly yes, I tried a puff before, my parents never knew. I never contact those guys again. Tasted like shit but makes you feel good and warm. So yeah, that's why I don't understand smokers...LOL.

Smoking to me is not exactly wrong, neither do I support smoking...Seriously, I feel like putting a stick and lighting it up for a few puffs, but, I'll waste my time, puffing and not getting things done.

So I guess, Curiosity kills the cat, and Mentality is a power, dangerous in the wrong hands.