Introducing myself

Blah blahs blahs~
I don't even know what I was talking about during presentation. I actually wanted bring in my Dad for the example as well as my goal to win the trophy for 2/3 years running for NYP wushu. Why did I forget? Now I thought of it, was it the cold? Maybe. Or perhaps its my nervousness. Hmm...Whichever it is, I hope i can at least get a good grade like B+ at the end of the year for this Comms Skill subject.

AND THERE IS ANOTHER ONE COMING UP!

Sian~

The upcoming is for the GS Module-Cross Cultural Comms. COMMS AGAIN! =.="
And my group is presenting "What the Malays DO, WEAR, EAT, on Hari Raya". I am doing the "WEAR" part...I'm not sure how to do it right, now. I need Photos(pictures), Videos (on how to wear), a Costume(male or female) as a sample. I don't think I can do the Live Demo part. Not enough time anyway.
Worst is that I have less than a week to prepare for it! God...save me.

I felt part of me was exposed today. Hate that feeling...
Nights.

Retards~

I cant BELIEVE I'm actually saying it, saying that I need a pause, a break. But whatever, there's wind in my stomach and I''ll keep this short.
Recently saw a blog about a ADHD girl and her views and ways of looking at things. She's really special in a way, and I feel that people should adopt such mindsets. Example is the hand sign that my friends seem to be using frequently. It is done by placing all your fingers together, pointing upwards. And they told me that this is the retarded way speaking "what-the-F**k".

OK, I mean, why do you need a sign for "what-the-F**k"??? and by using that hand sign, are you telling me you are a retard, so you need to use that sign to say "what-the-F**k"??? LOL~if you are a normal person, you will just shoot it out, why use a hand sign for? MUTE? LMAO~ seriously, I think that this is very stupid. so ooo-kays~ we got a hand sign for saying "what-the-F**K" in a retarded way, can we have a hand sign for a smart geek then?  LOL! so now I invented a new thing-the smart geek/ass way of saying "what-the-F**k" is to put your fingers together and point it DOWNWARDS.. Clever huh?

So readers, you got my point.

But then again,  maybe because it is rude to swear, so they use a sign. But oh, come'on! If you think it is wrong to swear, of course you don't swear! Simple as that, you can use "what-the heck/hell/fish/(bomb?)" and many others beside "F**K". DUH!

All Right! I gotta go for the toilet! Nights!

Training--PME..

This is the, say, best of my life? Undergoing Physical trainings for next year IVP and upcoming performance, Mental trainings for the upcoming common tests and e-quizes, Emotional trainings cos I just found out I cannot withstand huge ridicule from people. Life is sure hard.

She doesn't know I forgave her long time ago. The "Thank You" was my way, since she ridiculed me in Public, letting me know how WEAK emotionally I was. LOL~well, I DON'T like to leave things misunderstood, but yet, the more I try to explain, the matter ALWAYS seems to get worse. Maybe because I live on a different frequency from everyone, which I think I DO. So now even though I REALLY HATE it, and since everone keep telling me to "Move On", JUST THIS ONCE, I leave this incident hanging( I DON'T FORGET such things easily, they are the Shadows of the mind, sure hard to repel them). I think no one got "SHADOW" element in the quiz I took 1 post below. Well I am now trying to view other elements, and yeap, below are the meanings of each.

Spirit-You are full of life and happiness. You enjoy to have fun and live as much as possable. You are as free flowing as the wind. Your smile can brighten anyone day and your attitude is contagious. People simply can't be mad at you or around you. You are empathetic and feel others emotions as if they were your own. You feel with them and always try and make them smile.

 Water-You are easy going, yet can be fierce. You are a very caring soul and feel the need to take care of everyone around you. You have a maternal nature about you. People love to be around you and, they trust you greatly and you give them no reason not to. You may have a tendancy to be clingy which you should be carful of, but over all you are a great person. Your eyes are very deep, and people tend to get lost in them.

Fire-You are passionate, and caring. You are easy to fall in love, and people tend to fall for you just the same. You are always warm to the touch. People feel safe in your arms, you have a temper, but you can get control of it quickly. You are a fighter, and will stand up for your opinions. Your eyes are always full of passion and people tend to be drawn to them.

Earth-You are sturdy. you can take what the world dishes out and still have a smile on your face. You are tranquil and calm for the most part, but can be fierce when called to action. People tend to be calm around you, and trust you easily. You are a good friend and your beliefs are set like the deeply rooted trees of the forest.

Shadow-You tend to be by yourself, but you love to be around people. You feel the need to protect those around you. When threatened you don't defend, just wait silently for their attack. You feel at home in the darkness. You are misunderstood, and at first glance some might think you are a bad or mean person, but your heart is pure. People have a hard time looking in your eyes, your gaze is intense and they feel as if you are burning through their soul. Those who know you love you, but many are afraid when your angry.

So yea wow~ I'm Shadow...
I wonder what my friends got...


OH YEA! I got my cert for the Competition back...and they got my name WRONG~=.=seriously...I should have gone done to make sure...but HELLO~who in the world call their son "Valiant History"???? Mine is" Valiant Educated"...

zZz gotta sleep soon---a quiz told me I'm stressing out cos "LACK of SLEEP"...SNORE~

Fates

OMG!

i just realised i discovered a concidence!

my index numbers in my primary schools are always 18,19,20

and during my index number was 19,

my brother was born! and on 19 too!!

funny thing is,

my grandma home number last 4 digits are 1519

my birthday! followed by my brother's!

weird huh?

and both of us were raised for 1 month before coming to home cck.

this i think is too much of a concidence.

also-fate!

It was because i thought that my wushu class @ytcc is taking too much of my time

to study during my O lvls, so i "suspend" myself. But it didnt really work.

cos i dont feel like studying during sat 4-6., the time of the class.

my ADHD is set to activate during that time, cannot study.

den my O lvl score not that good. so go in NYP.

den i meet coach GY, also a concidence!

since i tried to idolize him when i was under Gao jiaolian*.

well cos his jingsai changquan is real COOL.

but yea. young times easy forget, pokemon more shiok.

XD hahas

so i only remembered him winning alot of gold.

den founding out that he is the coach for NYP,

shock, was my 1st reaction.

surprise was next, and happiness, that i found my "lost idol"(lost childhood memory)

wow~just cos i get a low enough score. Concidence?

and there are alot more stuffs that is really weird now i that i see it,

certain things seems to be linked.

maybe i should have watch the movie which Nicolas Cage starred in, the one that

is about numbers code written by aliens, predicting about world future events.

hmmm~

so what you guys think?

concidence?

lesson learned and learning

i learnt a lesson...within 2 days

quite amazing.

when the lesson is somthing that cannot be taught easily.

"Words and Thoughts"

Be careful with the thoughts, for if it is wrong, it is harmful/poison/unclean/evil.

it is classified by me as HIGHLY dangerous.

if the thoughts are clean and ok,

words count.

i mean it affects the message.

and in situations when the other doesnt get the message.

DON'T PANIC= SLOW DOWN.

slowly make them understand.

wait for the chance to speak and to explain.

ok fine.

i tried, but sometimes, other parties cross my limits.

i really did try very hard.

and luckily i can control myself now, not like before, when i was younger.

or else the area would be trashed up.

and people getting hurt for no reason.

i hate people getting hurt for no reason, or rather because i was angry, frustrated, confused, shocked.

I hurt people before, and i saw the hurt, pain inflicted by me on them.

Just because i cannot control myself.

I really need to train harder. For control of temper , calmness.

For clearance of the thoughts of revenge when people hurt me.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

And this lesson, will be playing an important role in my future.

OH---A STORY.

Do you know that Hope, was the last remaining thing inside Pandora's Box?

and i believe it is still inside, if the story is true.

Legend state that Pandora is a highly curious girl, and she opened a Box which contains the Evils from Everywhere. Her Father( i forgot who, I think is Zeus) trapped the Evils when the Titans lose the war between the Gods. She released almost everything inside--the poisonous thoughts that most criminals have nowadays, out into the world.

Except for Hope, because she closed the lid shut when she realised the horrors she let loose. ( NOW THIS IS FAKE--adapted from Percy Jackson and The Last Olympian). Prometheus said that, "Let go of Hope, and i shall know that you wanted bliss."( because you hope when you are in deep trouble. Bliss as in you are cleared of troubles and hurt.).

Percy Jackson did not open the lid but instead gave the Box to the Goddess Hera, of the hearth(home, reunion, harmony, warmness) for safe keeping. And so Hera kept the Box near the hearth safely, warming Hope. And thus, giving it energy, strength, to continue existing. Which is now why, there is always this kind of feeling to go on, to tomorrow, to move onwards, day after day, it is Hera, keeping Hope alive in the Box, making sure that we, can move onwards....

Discoverying myself.

i was shocked---

Shadow Element

"You tend to be by yourself, but you love to be around people.

You feel the need to protect those around you

(yea thats why I always try not to hurt people when they attack me...).

When threaten, you don't defend, just wait silently for their attack

(and feel sad if i did T,T).

You feel at home in the darkness( quite right there...i always do stuffs gaming, reading, watching TV, etc in the dark, Now i know why =.=).

You are misunderstood, and at first glance some might think you are a bad person, or mean( yea i got a few enemies cos of it, but lucky we make it up ), but your heart is pure.

People have a hard time looking in your eyes( yea girls especially).

Your gaze is intense and they feel as if you are burning through their soul( well...I can't even stare at my own eyes in a mirror, kept feeling as if someone else is looking at me ).

Those who know you love you( so far...only a few did... for 'love' only my blood relatives. For 'like', is only very good friends e.g. Lawrence, JiaYi, RuiNah, it seems that only they can withstand my gaze....heheh).

But they are afraid when you are angry( not surprising...given my temper, I could even kill if I can't control. and I mean REALLY lose control.) "

---when i read this...but not surprise...shocked that it was so accurate.

hais...I wondered who read this???

maybe you will understand me better...

Maybe...Not.

do i have a choice?

maybe, maybe not...

just say its a "maybe not".

simply means that $ expenses will go up.

since i will be self-training.

i wonder what happen if i told J

to teach me double swordplay.

might boost my chances.

and i will be very tired...

academic results---affected?

maybe and maybe not, again.

what if competion? like today?

i dont go lo...thats all?

i not sure that'll work. maybe, maybe not.

but this" maybe not" of self training is a great idea.

just hope that mum dont disagree with me.

and i like that carpet...seriously.

i want it, i will try to get it.

now "maybe"

den i have to choose. and have to let down the other.

i dont want to see teacher angry...

since i sure be joining Mh

but hey...

this headache is sure painful...

i forgot i have lots of other responsiblities...

Thanks to RQ for the "maybe not"...

at least i got a neutral option...

whew~

The Obilerator...

the new word for pain...

"it makes you forget who you are, what you are, and what you are doing"

eragon~

my shoulder hurts alot, as well as knees

and i mean--ALOT.

not surprising...since ima capricon---joints problems.

i wonder how i compete tmr.. or even next year IVP...

i so much wanted to bring the red carpet home to NYP.

Went to Jurong sports staduim for the competion.

Not bad, quite good, though there isnt a 9.

too bad.

thought there might be..but then again if there is, he/she will be on national team.

highest was 8.8, if im not wrong.

and martialhouse clinch lots of gold...

not surprising.

YH only got 3...or more...not sure.

LOL~we only compete in competion routines...of cos chances lower

summore its a newborn company.

i wonder what the teachers will say if i told them i want to join martialhouse.

of cos i wish to continue training at ytcc!

it is like my kind of birthplace,

my history, my personality...almost all came from there.

yea almost---40%

hahas~

watever...its late...

and i need to sleep...

i wonder whether she will come to watch tmr event?

but nah...i think she got training.

and double swords is seriously cool~!

just finish SWTFU 2....

oops~i am supposed to be resting! XD

hahas~

yea...Starkiller lightsabers' moves are cool..

i wonder i can show to coach den see whether we can apply to IVP or not..

bonus marks? LOL~

nights!

Love and Studies

hais...

i wonder how people stay single...

like my uncle...

he scarificed love for studies...

and now hes rich...

i mean like,,, 500k in his bank? and still growing?

lol

but hes a bachelor...

seriously...

i felt so confused when i saw them together...

Brother? Boyfriend?...i wish i never came to NYP ** now

should have join others...but then.

what will happen again?

lol~

really...what will happen?( damn JANUS!!!)

but my HW is REALLY piling up...

and i haven take a look at them books...well,

perhaps a peep.

sigh.

so tired...is my timetable gonna be like that till March?

gawd....i wonder how some manage...

seriously.

so tired.

damn....why am i wasting my time? lol

HW!!!! i gonna own you!!!!

but wait...need to wash socks....

hais.... and my shoulder is injured, hopefully it will slow me down for tmr rehearsal.

XI

BLOOD CONTRACT

Weird Lah!

Coach GY told me to learn double s.

seriously i felt----KNS WTH KNNABCCB~

lol

but now is really curious...

i think is cos i never touch them before...

looks like i need learn at YH sch for quick mastery.

I want THAT RED CARPET!!!!

shit.

i forgot to tell my guys...

but anyway...they dun really look like they can catch up on their taolus.

worst thing

Cla*** want learn Drunken Fist.

and Dota is also learning the basic...

Coach J already said he doesn't mind me using the taolus for my sch comps.

sian

ALL RIGHTS!

THIS IS THE CONTRACT

All routines from either school shall only be exposed when given permission.

If I already learned the routine from either one, especially from YH,

I will only use it for INTER-SCHOOL COMPETIONS.

For DW school, I will not exposed or leak any routines to YH, and will not use them for my advancement in YH.

For GLOBAL OR COUNTRY COMP.( if I make it, which I think is a "no")

I shall only use the rountines that each taught me to represent each school,

(but I think I'm now 3/4 YH, dunno~help help!)

I will not use rountines from one to represent the other.

Eg--YH taught Drunken Fist, I won't use Drunken Fist for DW representation.

And Vice versa.

so~this is sure real tough...i really need to identify who taught me what and ZZZ

sigh...so tired...

WHeeeee

Finally

DAMN wordpress

losuy shit-all black and white

and tmr still got training for sat

sian

guys ps.

i be posting my old posts soon.

since they are the records of my life.

nicey.

nights.

seriously..

what, is "fetish"???

duh?