B*tch

"The Gemini are usually easy-going, amorous people, while the Capricorn are sluggish, devoted, cautious. Capricorn will have a hard time holding the reins on excitable, flirtatious, wayward Gemini. All of Capricorn's patience is needed to deal with a partner it considers to be capricious, extravagant, and scatterbrained."

And I am Really LOSING MY PATIENCE!

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Me---"My parents are worried about Drunk Drivers/People/accidents etc."

B*tch---"lol, this whole thing is such a joke and im speechless."
My thoughts---which part of my sentence sounds like a joke? I love my parents and I don't want them to worry. Yea you think its a joke. This really shows how infilial/selfish/cannot think of others person.


B*tch--- "oh sorry for commenting. but i think i have a better solution. dont go then. :) treasure your life and stay at home."
Me---"Why don't you stay at home den? Its a CLASS OUTING. "
My thoughts---Which class representative not attend his own class outing unless he is unavaliable during the event? Are you dumb, u ass girl?

B*tch--- "Lol, im not quarrel with a primary school boy. you can take it as i lost, if it pleases you. :)"
Me---"HEY, WATCH THAT MOUTH."

My thoughts---Lost? Lost what? your virginity? And HELLO! Which part of me is STILL a PRIMARY SCHOOL BOY?
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A bit of history on this girl I was so pissed off about.

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She scolded me "sick and pervert" a few months back, and I must say I took the insult well enough. In a bad scenario, I will be already in court, becos I would have slap her there and then. I gave her respect, and did not pursue the issue.

What happened was that we were conversing about "HOW TO GET A STRANGER CONTACT NUMBER", becos I saw this very pretty girl (in my opinion) on the train to school, and I Facebooked that I regretted not getting her number.

And somehow, it went in a crazy(in my opinion) direction. I do not understand why my classmates viewed me as a "PRIMARY SCHOOL KID". But whatever it is, a male classmate stated that if I could not even get a Primary school Kid's contact, I be a kind of "Worse"/"Lousy". "Even primary school kid's number also cannot get la!" this kind of "looking down upon" thing. SO I hastily replied "That is nothing what, I done it already."


OK, for any correct-minded person, this is obivious that I had already get a Pri. Sch. kid number before.

But somehow, I think there is something wrong with that B*tch's ear that she yelled "WHAT?! YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE?! OMG!". It's okay if she had said it softly for the next table not to hear us, but the group of girls that were sitting across me turned around to stare at me.

So people, what will do when YOU are in such a situation?

Well, for me, I am not as quick-minded as you are to grasp the meaning of that B*tch's "IT". You probably had, You probably don't(same like me). So I was totally stunned by her exclaimation.

Then I tried to explain How I get the kid's number, I thought they do not understand how I can get it. But THAT B*TCH CUT ACROSS ME and INSULTED ME of being a "Pedophile". AND SHE ALSO EXPLAINED IT TO ME WHILE LAUGHING HER HEAD OFF with another 2 male classmates.

God, my mind was in a fluster then, and my temper shot straight up. When I finally cooled down, I was struck by this thought-

"She accused me of being a pedophile, and even explained it to me while laughing. Is she the one sick and pervert? Or am I the one? Oh My GOD! and she is a FEMALE!!! A would-be mother(maybe)! AND she can even think of such Acts! WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON IN HER MIND?!"

-Truely, I was scared stiff and was about to cry. How could there be such a person on Earth? Serious. My mind was REALLY in state of turmoil, and yet, I had a good friend comforting me. Telling me they do not meant what they said.

He made me even more scared. "How Could a person say something so Crazily dirty and Insane, and then adopt a innocent face and say "Oh, sorry ah, I don't mean it la."?"

Well at least the male classmate personally came to apologised and explained to me what he meant. Well ok, I explained mine, that cleared him and me up, and we are ok now.

But there still left that B*tch and the other male classmate who didnt clear things up, but I gave the guy face, since he is the most senior in my class, I kept quiet.

But for HER, well, I expressed my thoughts on a previous post which I deleted. Which is becos I felt that she might not take it well enough/ or even misunderstand me. So I kept quiet and did not pursue the issue anymore.Worse! She apologised in Facebook, with a ":)". HELLO B*TCH~DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE APOLOGISING FOR???

People, do you guys apologised with a sincere/solemn face, wait for the other party to patch up BEFORE you smile? Or do you guys just "Hey, don't be angry" with a smiley face?

NOTE: she is a CLASSMATE, not someone I considered a friend, she is just a acquaintance(One's slight knowledge of someone) to me. I don't know her well, and she employed the 2nd method. Of cos I did not accept her apology, If you are really sincere, Personal Apology is WAY MUCH BETTER!

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AND just recently she insulted me "Primary School Boy". Does she understand her status/rank/what she is in my Point of View? Flippant and Scatter-Brained. Do People just insult anyone they dislike/like or whomever they met? Or do they just insult someone who is only a acquaintance? EVEN if its a joke, that B*tch didn't even typed that out, like " Hey i jkjk(joking) only la." SO simply put, its an insult! And why apologised if you are joking? Do people say sorry after a joke or do they laugh and smile? What's more! Both the organiser and I are planning something serious, IF there is a need to joke, joke after the session, right People?

NOW I lose an acquaintance I was hoping to befriend with and its really sad. It really seems impossible now. She isn't even fit to be my classmate now, which is sad to me, of cos I will still treat her as a Classmate status(no choice there). But whatever it is, I am gonna make sure I enjoy the night-time outing with class AAT, and bond with the others.


" Looks are deceiving" and "apologies and insincere when repeated. "

Realisation

I just realised, looking back, what have I REALLY done for MYSELF???

study? just enough to pass my parents' standards.
competition? always for some reasons.

So WHAT for the past nearly 2 decades, have I done for myself???

I realised that I'm always doing things for others; for the good of others. Well, only playing games and reading storybooks for entertainment are probably the only things I have done for myself.

In this life, now, I only need to fill my stomach, entertainment level, and is enough for me.
So where does motivation comes from? From Pity? Anger? Jealousy? Kindness? Helplessness? Greed?

well examples
-I pity the school not having better equipments, I wanna help them, I work hard for it.
-I felt angry at the kind of mentality people had sometimes, I wanna help them Change it.
-I see people driving sports car, with loud techno blasting, I want it too-for my siblings to show off.
-I see the weak, helpless, baby animals trying to survive in the wild. I want to help them live.
-I see the money one could have, I want to have it to balance the world.

so I study hard, for a while, and it's lost.
Where is it?
WHAT HAVE I DONE?