Realisation

I just realised, looking back, what have I REALLY done for MYSELF???

study? just enough to pass my parents' standards.
competition? always for some reasons.

So WHAT for the past nearly 2 decades, have I done for myself???

I realised that I'm always doing things for others; for the good of others. Well, only playing games and reading storybooks for entertainment are probably the only things I have done for myself.

In this life, now, I only need to fill my stomach, entertainment level, and is enough for me.
So where does motivation comes from? From Pity? Anger? Jealousy? Kindness? Helplessness? Greed?

well examples
-I pity the school not having better equipments, I wanna help them, I work hard for it.
-I felt angry at the kind of mentality people had sometimes, I wanna help them Change it.
-I see people driving sports car, with loud techno blasting, I want it too-for my siblings to show off.
-I see the weak, helpless, baby animals trying to survive in the wild. I want to help them live.
-I see the money one could have, I want to have it to balance the world.

so I study hard, for a while, and it's lost.
Where is it?
WHAT HAVE I DONE?