Library

Yeap I'm still in school library, reading a interesting life story. Can't seem to concentrate on school work anyway. This time is training time, so can't really focus on work now, might as well slack.


Regarding your latest entry:
"all you need is a 'pick-me-up'"~Hagrid(Harry Potter)

...that's what you need exactly =)

If you had read your own life, you could see the ups and down; the way life treats you, and how you pick yourself up and move on. I just did, and was touched by your bravery towards life.

Honestly I still remember the some of the questions you asked me. I hope I got them right. Here's some of the answers I got while reading, to one of the question I think is important:

It is because of your attitude, I like you.
It is because of your bravery, I like you.
It is because of your maturity, I like you.
It is because of your simplicity, I like you.
It is because of your honest efforts, I like you.
It is because of your straightforwardness, I like you. 
It is because of your logical thinking, I like you.
It is because of your emotions, that made you so human, I like you.
And of course, I like who you are.

Truth to be told, when I first saw everyone in the wushu team, I saw you, everyone 'colours'. I seriously CANNOT  explain why or how or what it is. Just think that I can see auras of people, to make matter easier to explain. I saw yours, the brightest in the badminton hall, and JY's, GX's, GY's,
bright as the sun. At first, it made me wondered why the place is so 'warm' and welcoming. Lol. Unbelieving, yeah, I know. I don't know why Heaven or my parents gave me such gifts. The ability to sense things is really awful sometimes. It made my world dark and black. Nothingness. No emotions-nothing. Probably that's why I always feel alone, even though surrounded my friends. Your colour was of the sun-orange, red, like fire. JY's was like the Heavens-bright white rays. GX's was too, orange of warm. GY's was the most special-It constantly flashes between purple and white, like the moon in the night sky.

It was you guys, the bright suns and moons, lit my world. I'm on my way to thank the other 3 of them. I'm sad, really. Since you was the one who taught me more, directly and indirectly. I wish I could thank you sincerely with all my heart. But I guess it can never happen, since you want me to be invisible to your world. It pains me, when I could not share my joys and/or take your sorrows away, as you are the next  close friend that I have selected for my life. I think the only way now is to follow your wishes, which I think you'll find it to your taste.
People see my Facebook account, Hundreds over friends. How many are really mine? Probably the closest is JY, and he is not even that close. My selection for close friends are of high standards, I would thought that you make a good friend, since I saw you, I somewhat knew you are the kind that cherish relationships seriously. I am right, aren't I? I tried to get attention from you, to make you understand your position from my view. Looks like you didn't and find my attitude don't suit your taste and me disturbing and immature. This doesn't hurt me yet. The punching blow came through your email.

I find it weird, that the people I selected to be on my the top few of my friend list, always gave up their positions. It seems like the fault lies with me. If it is, how do I solve it? How do I cure it? Those that are in the middle are the ones that cheers me up, mostly my wushu friends. So far, only 1 remains in the list. 3 had left, 1 out of anger/disappointment (that's you up there); 1 out of shyness; 1 out of distance. The positions are always there for you guys, if you are reading(which I guess not, no one truly read my blog anyway).

I hope to find more candidates before I go for NS. Else I guess I have to depend on my own and stand on my own two feet. I wonder who would ever hold me if I fall. My Dad has enough on his plate, my 'closest friends' are not there, friends are too far away to help. I just need to keep on climbing up and higher.

Sometimes I wonder why sad tears doesn't come out from my eyes. I think they had all dried up by the black cold world that surrounds me. Can I ever find my sun, that she would led me out, or bring me light and warm?

I just want to talk to you again, to laugh and listen to your fantastic journey of life. I don't like this invisibility anymore...But I always keep my promises, I will not break it, even for the sake of my own pleasure, curiosity, or plain greediness for knowledge...

~Library closing~

I hope you still let me in through your doors, for I love reading such stories, and gain much insights of life. Thanks.